Part II in the chronicles of Pissed Off Mullet-Woman

The story continues...


Friends, family, and my international mullet admirers,

I thought I would follow up on my mullet, because although many of you may delete this even before reading it because you are tired of my mass emails I feel obligated to update all of you since there has been a change in the state of my mullet. Cyndi Lauper meets Billy Ray Cyrus has ceased to exist, despite the fact that Chard will stop being my friend. Sorry Chard, even though I'm from Tulsa I refuse to sink so low.

First, however, I have a few mullet stories that weren't included in Part 1 that I would like to share with you. To start, some of the hip discotech eurotrash guys at work were like "WOW, you look FABULOUS. You are so cool now, please please don't cut your hair I swear you'll regret it". And then one of them named Fabio (Jessie you met him, the one who had the tiny tee nylon splatter painted shirt) proceeds to explain to me the intricate ways in which I need to style it when I wake up in the morning, giving me hair gel brand names and everything. Yeah, I may be 'cool' and 'with it' now here but I just can't shed the fact that a mullet is a mullet, no matter where you are and no matter how you try to disguise it.

Second, when I went to a different hairdresser to get my mullet chopped off because finally on Tuesday I couldn't take it anymore, I took a picture I printed off from the internet of Meg Ryan from "You've Got Mail" so that there would be NO WAY the guy would try and give me another mullet, as italian hairdressers are wont to do. His face lit up, and he said "Ohhhhh, I know EXACTLY what you want!! I'll fix you up". So then he shows me this OTHER picture, and was like "this will look PERFECT on you!!!". The picture was NOTHING like Meg Ryan, and was essentially this blond woman with the sides of her head shaved and her hair on top blossoming out to form a MUSHROOM HEAD. I straight up told the guy (in italian, obviously) "you are NOT giving me a mushroom head today, my friend, you are giving me THIS HAIRCUT. MAKE ME MEG RYAN". So I walked out of there feeling better about myself and mullet-free. But when I came home marco pointed out that it was still mullet-esque in the back and he was going to try to 'trim it up a bit'. Scared as I was to have Marco ruin my already ruined hair, I let him do it anyway. As it turns out he did a pretty good job (using our dull kitchen scissors and his own clippers). The results of my two weeks of haircut adventures are shown in the picture attached to this message. Enjoy.

Elaine


Crazy Italians & their crazy hair styles.